Thursday, November 29, 2007

The Church of Arneticetheism

I'm starting a new church, & want advice/disciples. It's based on something that occurred to me a vision revelation I had today in the toilet desert.

I was thinking about the history of religion: about how, initially, people personified everything, & then they systematised their beliefs somewhat so that there were various gods responsible for various aspects of nature. Over the centuries, these gods were consolidated, so that there were fewer and fewer. Nowadays many people don't believe in any gods at all. So we see a progression: animism, polytheism, monotheism, atheism, with the number of spirits or gods steadily decreasing from very many, to several, to one, to zero.

So anyhow, I was thinking about these things (with a blank mind and a pure heart, naturally), when, lo & hark (the beer of angels, incidentally), it was revealed unto me that the true number of gods is −1.

This is a pivotal revelation, as you will recognise immediately, deep in your souls, and a wondrous sign that the end thymes are nigh. On the other hand, it could do with some further clarification. Any ideas?
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4 comments:

Wade said...

You had me going there for a minute, Troy. I thought you were going to express the number as √-1, lol.

Give me some thyme, and I will try to give you some sage advice.

Anonymous said...

The church of the acronym finders (or is it some other word used to indicate negatives)? Sounds okay to me. Of course, it could only work in the countries that "follow" monotheism. The others haven't "progressed" past polytheism yet. :-)

anglophile said...

Hey Troy, you better watch out. One time, a long time ago in my innocent use, I was talking to a co-worker about ancient religions. She expressed some disdain, and opined the Greeks just made all those gods up. I said, "Well, of course! All religions are made up by people, don't you think?" I had forgotten she was one of those earnest Christians, you know the ones. There was a shocked pause in the conversation, and then she replied, "No, I don't think so." Every time she saw me after that, she invited me to Bible study groups and assorted other church functions. Sometimes being a creature of logic takes a heavy toll!

Anywho, (insert evil grin here)what you need to get this religion off the ground is some good PR. If you could either get a radio talk show or a compound with large numbers of weapons and a showdown with some government agency. That'll spread the word nicely.

Your acolyte,

anglophile

anglophile said...

My innocent youth that was. Completely unexplanable typo.